i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Randomize
