ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
