Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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