i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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