I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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