Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
