the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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