you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
