There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
