I puked a lego.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
