What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
