You made me cry and you don't even care
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
