i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
