hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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