I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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