she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
They took my balls.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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