that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
