i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
