are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
