they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
