Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
