He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
