I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
