the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize