That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
