I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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