Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
