She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
