Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
