Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
