So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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