You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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