All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
