rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize