ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize