PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
