He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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