so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
