Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
