Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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