I wannas sexs uuuuu
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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