your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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