yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
