jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
