I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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