he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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