Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
two words...techno handjob
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
