I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
