with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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