You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
