I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
