If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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