Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
