The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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