the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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