Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize