this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
