Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
