hotel room ftw
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
