just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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