I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
