My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
